Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that uses false information to make the victim doubt their own feelings, instincts, and memory. It’s a form of mental abuse that happens in all relationships, especially romantic ones.
The gaslighter may deny they said something or did something to make you feel bad about yourself, or they may offer up an alternative version of events that makes you question your own feelings and behaviors.
In some cases, this can lead to depression or anxiety as well as serious relationship problems if it’s not addressed immediately. However, knowing how to respond to gaslighting can help protect you from these damaging effects, so here are six ways how best to do so:
Question your instincts
If you’ve read any advice about gaslighting, this is probably the first thing you’ve seen: “Don’t trust your gut feelings!” It’s a bit of a confusing piece of advice because we’re often told to trust our instincts when it comes to things like finances or health (which makes sense), but when it comes to love or relationships and all the other complexities that come with them? Well…not so much.
This can leave us feeling lost and confused when something doesn’t feel right in our relationship—and wondering if there’s something wrong with us instead of realizing that our partner may be gaslighting us! So what do we do? How do we tell if our instincts are accurate?
The answer is simple: don’t trust your gut feelings! They weren’t built for deciphering gaslighting behavior; they were built for survival. When someone makes an accusation against you, if you believe them without questioning their motives or evidence of wrongdoing then yes, something is wrong with YOU because YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE GASLIGHTER’S HANDY PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOLS OF CONFUSION AND FALSE ACCUSATIONS!
Take a moment to be sure of your own feelings
If you’re experiencing gaslighting, it can be difficult to know what you are feeling and what is real. This can make it difficult to trust your feelings when the other person is telling you that they are wrong.
Take a moment to think about what you are feeling. If you feel confused or unsure of your own emotions, ask yourself if there is anything else that could be influencing your emotions – like something in their tone of voice or body language. If nothing comes up but their words seem confusing, ask for help from someone who knows both of you well: maybe a friend or family member who can tell if something doesn’t sound right with the way they speak about this situation.
Related: 7 signs of a toxic person
Recognize gaslighting as a form of abuse
The first step to responding to gaslighting is recognizing it as a form of abuse. This is a difficult task because the abuser wants you to believe that their behavior is justified and reasonable, not abusive. Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation that aims to make you feel crazy and unstable so that you can’t trust your own thoughts or feelings about what’s happening in your relationship.
When someone gaslights you, they’re not trying to make small mistakes; they’re trying to convince you that your reality isn’t real at all. They want you to doubt everything about yourself, including whether the abuse itself exists! This means that when someone gaslights you (or when it happens in public), recognize how absurdly unfair their behavior is: no one deserves this kind of treatment just because they made a mistake or didn’t give someone exactly what they wanted at exactly the right time!
Recognize that any attempts at manipulation are meant solely for control over others, not concern over any actual problems within relationships themselves.
Furthermore: don’t blame yourself for being manipulated; recognize there are always two sides involved in every interaction regardless of how much “blame” one person throws around after being caught doing something wrong… especially if we’re talking about something like lying cheating stealing etcetera by someone who knows full well about consequences yet still chooses (outright refuses) against us anyway…
Understand that gaslighting is harmful and has no place in your relationship or interactions with others
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can be difficult to recognize, especially if you haven’t experienced gaslighting before. If you do recognize it in your own life, it’s important to understand that it has no place in your relationship or interactions with others. It’s not okay for anyone to question your sanity, make you doubt yourself, or tell lies about the past, present and future.
Seek support from a trusted friend, family member, counselor, psychologist, or doctor
Seek support from a trusted friend, family member, counsellor, psychologist or doctor. Friends and loved ones are often the first people to notice the signs of gaslighting in your relationship and can be a great source of reassurance that what you’re experiencing is real and not all in your head. If there’s anyone you feel comfortable talking about the situation with on an ongoing basis then consider making them part of your support network when dealing with gaslighting at home or work.
A good listener will also help you figure out what’s happening to you and how best to deal with it, whether that means figuring out how to deal with a difficult person at work (and then taking steps towards leaving) or deciding whether or not it’s time for therapy sessions before things get too bad.
Stand up for yourself and your beliefs and values
There’s no denying that gaslighting can be a powerful and effective tactic. But the way to counteract this is not by giving in to their demands, but learning to stand up for yourself and your beliefs and values.
Say no! Refuse their requests or demands when they are unreasonable, unfair, or otherwise inappropriate. If you don’t feel comfortable saying “no,” then tell them why you’re saying “yes” instead of “no.”
Practice it until it feels natural coming out of your mouth and soon enough you’ll be able to say yes only if it’s something that makes sense for both parties involved.* Don’t be afraid to ask for help! There’s nothing wrong with asking someone else for advice or another perspective on a situation, it doesn’t mean that you don’t know what’s going on or aren’t happy with how things are going; rather, it shows maturity and self-awareness.*
Say what you think! If someone asks what’s bothering you because they’re concerned about your well-being (or simply because they love spending time together), give them honest feedback about how things are going before making any decisions regarding their friendship/relationship with this person.*
Ask for what YOU want! Whether it’s an apology from someone who hurt your feelings or negotiation regarding household chores split between roommates living together…your needs should always come first when making decisions about relationships.*
Say how YOU feel! It may not always seem like appropriate behavior within certain situations but sometimes letting others know how we feel helps us clear up confusion surrounding certain actions taken by others toward us which might otherwise have been misconstrued as unkindness on their part
How to respond to gaslighting at work?
If you’re being gaslighted at work, it can be hard to know how to respond to gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which one person manipulates another by making them doubt themselves and their perceptions. It’s often done by saying things like “you’re making too big a deal out of this,” or “you’re imagining it.”
In romantic relationships, gaslighting can be an effective way for the abuser to keep the victim in a relationship that may not be good for them. In the workplace, however, gaslighting can have serious consequences for your health and well-being—and for your career.
How do you know if you are being gaslighted at work? Here are some signs:
- You feel confused about what’s happening around you at work.
- You feel like something is wrong with you because other people don’t seem to be experiencing the same thing that you are experiencing.
- People say things like “don’t worry about it,” or “it’s not that bad,” when they see something happening at work that makes them uncomfortable.
How to respond to gaslighting parents?
If you want to respond, keep the conversation focused on the facts. For example, if they are insisting that you are wrong but you know that they are the ones who are mistaken, state your case clearly and calmly. If they continue with gaslighting tactics, it’s okay to leave the conversation if necessary or end it altogether.
If a parent is trying to convince you of something or getting angry at you for disagreeing with them, do not take responsibility for their behavior by apologizing or making excuses for them (so don’t say “I’m sorry” when they’re being unreasonable). You have every right in the world to tell your parents when their behavior is unacceptable: after all, no one deserves this kind of treatment!
Related: 5 Signs of Repressed Childhood Trauma in Adults
How to respond to a narcissist gaslighting?
We’ve all been there: you’re with a narcissist and they’re trying to gaslight you. It’s exhausting, especially since it’s often difficult to prove that what they’re saying isn’t true. But don’t worry, here are some ways to respond when someone is gaslighting you, and get back in control of the situation:
- Focus on the facts. The best way to combat gaslighting is by focusing on the facts, not their interpretation of them. For example, if they say “You never clean up after yourself,” you can reply with “I do clean up after myself every night.” This will help keep you grounded and remind you that what they’re saying isn’t true—or at least not completely true.
- Don’t be too emotional or apologetic. Narcissists thrive on drama and emotion; they want someone who will react strongly so they can feel powerful. So try to stay calm and collected when responding to gaslighting; if possible, try not to let them know how much their words are affecting you!
- Ask questions about what happened instead of debating whether it happened or how bad it was (if it happened at all).
How to recover from gaslighting?
It’s important to realize that recovering from gaslighting is not a one-time process. It can take years, even decades, and the road will be long and winding. But it’s possible—and worth it!
Here are two ways you can get started:
- Talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you understand what gaslighting means for you and how it has affected your behavior in the past and present. You may also want to participate in group therapy, which is especially helpful if you feel alone in dealing with your experience of being gaslighted.
- Practice self-care in small ways every day. Make time for yourself each day by doing something that makes you feel good about yourself: meditating or practicing yoga; watching a comedy show; reading a book; going out with friends for coffee or dinner—whatever works for your schedule! Do whatever works for YOU! Self-care isn’t about creating perfect moments—it’s about spending time loving ourselves so we’re better able to love others when they need it most during difficult times like these.”
Know that you can respond to gaslighting in a way that protects you
The first step to responding to gaslighting is knowing that you can respond in a way that protects you.
You can:
- Get support from friends and family. Talking with someone who understands what’s happening, or who has been in your shoes before, can help immensely. They may be able to offer advice on how they dealt with similar situations and remind you that what’s happening isn’t normal or healthy behavior (which it isn’t).
- Seek professional help. This might be a counselor or psychologist, but if the issue involves your partner, then it might be advisable for them to seek individual therapy as well so that both of you are able to work through your issues together without blaming each other or making things worse between the two of you—this allows both partners an opportunity for personal growth while still being able to communicate effectively about how best resolve any disputes between each other moving forward.”
The bottom line is that you need to be aware that gaslighting is harmful and has no place in your relationship or interactions with others. You should also know that you can respond to gaslighting in a way that protects you.
